Best Funny Quotes From Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard
Find & Share Quotes with Friends
Magnus Chase Quotes
Quotes tagged as "magnus-chase" Showing 1-30 of 124
"Look, some people prefer they," Alex said. "They're non-binary or mid-spectrum or whatever. If they want you to use they, then that's what you should do. But for me, personally, I don't want to use the same pronouns all the time, because that's not me. I change a lot. That's sort of the point. When I'm she, I'm she. When I'm he, I'm he. I'm not they. Get it?"
"If I say no, will you hurt me?"
"No."
"Then no, not really."
She shrugged. "You don't have to get it. Just, you know, a little respect."
"For the girl with the very sharp wire? No problem."
She must have liked that answer. There was nothing confusing about the smile she gave me. It warmed the office about five degrees."
― The Hammer of Thor
"If I say no, will you hurt me?"
"No."
"Then no, not really."
She shrugged. "You don't have to get it. Just, you know, a little respect."
"For the girl with the very sharp wire? No problem."
She must have liked that answer. There was nothing confusing about the smile she gave me. It warmed the office about five degrees."
― The Hammer of Thor
"Etiquette tip: If you're looking for the right time to leave a party, when the host yells, "No one leaves here alive," that's your cue."
― The Hammer of Thor
― The Hammer of Thor
"The last I saw of Percy and Annabeth, their Prius was turning the corner on First Avenue, Percy singing along with Led Zeppelin on the radio, Annabeth laughing at his bad voice.
Alex crossed his arms. "If those two were any cuter together, they'd cause a nuclear explosion of cuteness and destroy the Eastern Seaboard."
― The Ship of the Dead
Alex crossed his arms. "If those two were any cuter together, they'd cause a nuclear explosion of cuteness and destroy the Eastern Seaboard."
― The Ship of the Dead
"That awkward moment when you jump out a window because your friend jumped out a window, then you remember that your other friend can fly."
― The Ship of the Dead
― The Ship of the Dead
"Annabeth shook her head. "All these years sneaking around, and we could've just been ourselves?"
"You should always do that." Alex strolled alongside, back in human form, though he still had a few flamingo feathers stuck in his hair. "And you have to flaunt the weird, my friends."
"I'm going to quote you on that," Percy said.
"You'd better."
― The Ship of the Dead
"You should always do that." Alex strolled alongside, back in human form, though he still had a few flamingo feathers stuck in his hair. "And you have to flaunt the weird, my friends."
"I'm going to quote you on that," Percy said.
"You'd better."
― The Ship of the Dead
"Annabeth frowned. "Percy's sword is a she?"
Jack laughed. "Well, duh."
Percy studied Riptide, though I could've told him from experience it was almost impossible to tell a sword's gender by looking at it.
"I don't know," he said. "Are you sure -?"
"Percy," said Alex. "Respect the gender."
"Okay, fine," he said. "It's just kinda strange that I never knew."
"On the other hand," Annabeth said, "you didn't know the pen could write until last year."
"That's low, Wise Girl."
― The Ship of the Dead
Jack laughed. "Well, duh."
Percy studied Riptide, though I could've told him from experience it was almost impossible to tell a sword's gender by looking at it.
"I don't know," he said. "Are you sure -?"
"Percy," said Alex. "Respect the gender."
"Okay, fine," he said. "It's just kinda strange that I never knew."
"On the other hand," Annabeth said, "you didn't know the pen could write until last year."
"That's low, Wise Girl."
― The Ship of the Dead
"He turned to leave, then hesitated. "One more thing."
He walked up to me. "I've also been thinking about your declaration of undying love or whatever."
"I didn't - it wasn't -"
He clamped his hands on the sides of my gooey face and kissed me.
I had to wonder: was it possible to dissolve into chocolate on a molecular level and melt into a puddle on the carpet? Because that's how I felt. I'm pretty sure Valhalla had to resurrect me several times during the course of that kiss. Otherwise, I don't know how I was still in one piece when Alex finally pulled away.
He studied me critically, his brown and amber eyes taking me in. He had a chocolate moustache and goatee now, and chocolate down the front of his sweater vest.
I'll be honest. A small part of my brain thought, Alex is male right now. I have just been kissed by a dude. How do I feel about that?
The rest of my brain answered: I have just been kissed by Alex Fierro. I am absolutely great with that.
In fact, I might have done something typically embarrassing and stupid, like making the aforementioned declaration of undying love, but Alex spared me.
"Eh." He shrugged. "I'll keep thinking about it. I'll get back to you. In the meantime, definitely take that shower."
He left, whistling a tune that might have been a Frank Sinatra song from the elevator, "Fly Me to the Moon"."
― The Ship of the Dead
He walked up to me. "I've also been thinking about your declaration of undying love or whatever."
"I didn't - it wasn't -"
He clamped his hands on the sides of my gooey face and kissed me.
I had to wonder: was it possible to dissolve into chocolate on a molecular level and melt into a puddle on the carpet? Because that's how I felt. I'm pretty sure Valhalla had to resurrect me several times during the course of that kiss. Otherwise, I don't know how I was still in one piece when Alex finally pulled away.
He studied me critically, his brown and amber eyes taking me in. He had a chocolate moustache and goatee now, and chocolate down the front of his sweater vest.
I'll be honest. A small part of my brain thought, Alex is male right now. I have just been kissed by a dude. How do I feel about that?
The rest of my brain answered: I have just been kissed by Alex Fierro. I am absolutely great with that.
In fact, I might have done something typically embarrassing and stupid, like making the aforementioned declaration of undying love, but Alex spared me.
"Eh." He shrugged. "I'll keep thinking about it. I'll get back to you. In the meantime, definitely take that shower."
He left, whistling a tune that might have been a Frank Sinatra song from the elevator, "Fly Me to the Moon"."
― The Ship of the Dead
"In case you're wondering, Old York looks absolutely nothing like New York.
It looks older.
Magnus Chase, master of description. You're welcome."
― The Ship of the Dead
It looks older.
Magnus Chase, master of description. You're welcome."
― The Ship of the Dead
"But I suppose if you're friends of Magnus's ..." He went completely still. His runes faded. Then he leaped out of my hand and flew towards Annabeth, his blade twitching as if he was stiffing the air. "Where is she? Where are you hiding the babe?"
Annabeth backed towards the rail. "Whoa, there, sword. Personal space?"
"Jack, behave," Alex said. "What are you doing?"
"She's around here somewhere," Jack insisted. He flew to Percy. "Aha! What's in your pocket, sea boy?"
"Excuse me?" Percy looked a bit nervous about the magical sword hovering at his waistline.
Alex lowered his Ray-Bans. "Okay, now I'm curious. What do you have in your pocket, Percy? Enquiring swords want to know."
Percy pulled a plain-looking ballpoint pen from his jeans. "You mean this?"
"BAM!" Jack said. "Who is this vision of loveliness?"
"Jack," I said. "It's a pen."
"No, it's not! Show me! Show me!"
"Uh ... sure." Percy uncapped the pen.
Immediately it transformed into a three-foot-long sword with a leaf-shaped blade of glowing bronze.. Compared to Jack, the weapon looked delicate, almost petite, but from the way Percy wielded it I had no doubt he'd be able to hold his own on the battlefields of Valhalla with that thing.
Jack turned his point towards me, his runes flashing burgundy. "See Magnus? I told you it wasn't stupid to carry a sword disguised as a pen!"
"Jack, I never said that!" I protested. "You did."
― The Ship of the Dead
Annabeth backed towards the rail. "Whoa, there, sword. Personal space?"
"Jack, behave," Alex said. "What are you doing?"
"She's around here somewhere," Jack insisted. He flew to Percy. "Aha! What's in your pocket, sea boy?"
"Excuse me?" Percy looked a bit nervous about the magical sword hovering at his waistline.
Alex lowered his Ray-Bans. "Okay, now I'm curious. What do you have in your pocket, Percy? Enquiring swords want to know."
Percy pulled a plain-looking ballpoint pen from his jeans. "You mean this?"
"BAM!" Jack said. "Who is this vision of loveliness?"
"Jack," I said. "It's a pen."
"No, it's not! Show me! Show me!"
"Uh ... sure." Percy uncapped the pen.
Immediately it transformed into a three-foot-long sword with a leaf-shaped blade of glowing bronze.. Compared to Jack, the weapon looked delicate, almost petite, but from the way Percy wielded it I had no doubt he'd be able to hold his own on the battlefields of Valhalla with that thing.
Jack turned his point towards me, his runes flashing burgundy. "See Magnus? I told you it wasn't stupid to carry a sword disguised as a pen!"
"Jack, I never said that!" I protested. "You did."
― The Ship of the Dead
"The only strange thing about Jackson was the tattoo on the inside of his forearm - a trident as dark as seared wood, with a single line underneath and the letters SPQR.
He'd told me the letters stood for Sono Pazzi Quelli Romani - those Romans are crazy. I wasn't sure if he was kidding."
― The Ship of the Dead
He'd told me the letters stood for Sono Pazzi Quelli Romani - those Romans are crazy. I wasn't sure if he was kidding."
― The Ship of the Dead
"Congratulations, man. What's her name?"
"Estelle. It was my grandmother's name. Um, on my mom's side, obviously. Not Poseidon's."
"I approve," Alex said. "Old-fashioned and elegant. Estelle Jackson."
"Well, Estelle Blofis," Percy corrected. "My stepdad is Paul Blofis. Not much I can do about that surname, but my little sis is awesome. Five fingers. Five toes. Two eyes. She drools a lot."
"Just like her brother," Annabeth said.
Alex laughed."
― The Ship of the Dead
"Estelle. It was my grandmother's name. Um, on my mom's side, obviously. Not Poseidon's."
"I approve," Alex said. "Old-fashioned and elegant. Estelle Jackson."
"Well, Estelle Blofis," Percy corrected. "My stepdad is Paul Blofis. Not much I can do about that surname, but my little sis is awesome. Five fingers. Five toes. Two eyes. She drools a lot."
"Just like her brother," Annabeth said.
Alex laughed."
― The Ship of the Dead
"Not that my regularly scheduled life was so great, but it beat getting judged unworthy by twelve bearded guys named Erik."
― The Sword of Summer
― The Sword of Summer
"Blitz and Hearth were almost at the shore when Alex stopped abruptly.
I didn't have any energy left either, but I thought I should try to sound encouraging. "We - we have to k-keep going." I looked over. We were nose-to-nose under the blankets. Her eyes glinted, amber and brown. Her scarf had dipped below her chin. Her breath was like limes.
Then, before I even knew what was happening, she kissed me. She could have bitten off my mouth and I would have been less surprised. Her lips were cracked and rough from the cold. Her nose fitted perfectly next to mine. Our faces aligned, our breath mixed. Then she pulled away.
"I wasn't going to die without doing that," she said.
The world of primordial ice must not have frozen me completely, because my chest burned like a coal furnace.
"Well?" She frowned. "Stop gaping and let's move."
We trudged towards the shore. My mind wasn't working properly. I wondered if Alex had kissed me just to inspire me to keep going, or to distract me from our imminent deaths. It didn't seem possible she'd actually wanted to kiss me. Whatever the case, that kiss was the only reason I made it to shore."
― The Ship of the Dead
I didn't have any energy left either, but I thought I should try to sound encouraging. "We - we have to k-keep going." I looked over. We were nose-to-nose under the blankets. Her eyes glinted, amber and brown. Her scarf had dipped below her chin. Her breath was like limes.
Then, before I even knew what was happening, she kissed me. She could have bitten off my mouth and I would have been less surprised. Her lips were cracked and rough from the cold. Her nose fitted perfectly next to mine. Our faces aligned, our breath mixed. Then she pulled away.
"I wasn't going to die without doing that," she said.
The world of primordial ice must not have frozen me completely, because my chest burned like a coal furnace.
"Well?" She frowned. "Stop gaping and let's move."
We trudged towards the shore. My mind wasn't working properly. I wondered if Alex had kissed me just to inspire me to keep going, or to distract me from our imminent deaths. It didn't seem possible she'd actually wanted to kiss me. Whatever the case, that kiss was the only reason I made it to shore."
― The Ship of the Dead
"You don't hear heroes say that a lot.
Quick, Boy Wonder! To the pottery studio!
But Alex's tone left no doubt it was a matter of life and death."
― The Ship of the Dead
Quick, Boy Wonder! To the pottery studio!
But Alex's tone left no doubt it was a matter of life and death."
― The Ship of the Dead
"Hearthstone snapped his fingers for attention. I'm glad too, he signed. He patted the bag of runes at his belt. Stupid cages were magic-proof. Blitzen was crying a lot.
"I was not," Blitzen protested, signing along. "You were."
I was not, Hearthstone said. You were.
At that point, the ASL conversation deteriorated into the two of them poking each other in the chest."
― The Ship of the Dead
"I was not," Blitzen protested, signing along. "You were."
I was not, Hearthstone said. You were.
At that point, the ASL conversation deteriorated into the two of them poking each other in the chest."
― The Ship of the Dead
"A little secret, Magnus. There is no good and evil. There's only capable and incapable. I am capable."
― The Ship of the Dead
― The Ship of the Dead
"Just follow my lead,' I said. 'It'll be fun.'
'Please,' Sam begged, 'don't let those words be carved on my tombstone."
― The Sword of Summer
"I love you," Amir told her.
Samirah stumbled backwards like she'd been hit in the face with a giant eagle egg. Alex propped her up.
"I ... yes," Sam squeaked. "Also. Too."
Amir nodded. He turned and got into his car. A moment later, his tail-lights disappeared down Flagship Way.
Samirah smacked her own forehead. "Also? Too? I am such an idiot."
Alex patted her arm. "I thought you were quite eloquent. Come on sister. Your neon-yellow warship awaits."
― The Ship of the Dead
Samirah stumbled backwards like she'd been hit in the face with a giant eagle egg. Alex propped her up.
"I ... yes," Sam squeaked. "Also. Too."
Amir nodded. He turned and got into his car. A moment later, his tail-lights disappeared down Flagship Way.
Samirah smacked her own forehead. "Also? Too? I am such an idiot."
Alex patted her arm. "I thought you were quite eloquent. Come on sister. Your neon-yellow warship awaits."
― The Ship of the Dead
"You couldn't swing a battleaxe in the Nine Worlds without hitting some kind of wolf: Fenris Wolf, Odin's wolves, Loki's wolves, werewolves, big bad wolfs and independently contracted small business wolves that would kill anybody for the right price."
― The Ship of the Dead
― The Ship of the Dead
"I didn't learn a thing," I promised Alex. "You are still a mystery wrapped in a question mark wrapped in flannel."
― The Hammer of Thor
― The Hammer of Thor
"Sometimes you lie to deceive people. Sometimes you lie because you need the lie to become the truth"
― The Ship of the Dead
― The Ship of the Dead
"So can I ask…?" I waved my hands vaguely. I didn't have the words.
"How it does work?" She smirked. "As long as you don't ask me to represent every gender-fluid person for you, okay? I'm not an ambassador. I'm not a teacher or a poster child. I'm just"—she mimicked my hand-waving—"me. Trying to be me as best I can."
― The Hammer of Thor
"How it does work?" She smirked. "As long as you don't ask me to represent every gender-fluid person for you, okay? I'm not an ambassador. I'm not a teacher or a poster child. I'm just"—she mimicked my hand-waving—"me. Trying to be me as best I can."
― The Hammer of Thor
"Jack," I said, "why don't you go check on Sam?" Maybe you can advise her on getting through those doors. OR you could sing to her. I know she'd love that."
"Yeah? Cool!" Jack zoomed off to serenade Sam, which meant Sam would want to hit me later, except it was Ramadan so she had to be nice to me. Wow, I was a bad person.
"Yeah? Cool!" Jack zoomed off to serenade Sam, which meant Sam would want to hit me later, except it was Ramadan so she had to be nice to me. Wow, I was a bad person.
At the doors, Jack was trying to help by suggesting songs he could sing to inspire new ideas for getting inside: 'Knockin'on Heaven's Door', 'I Got the Keys' or 'Break on Through (to the Other Side)'.
"How about none of the above?" Sam said.
"'None of the Above' ..." Jack mused. "Is that by Stevie Wonder?"
"How's it going guys?" I asked. I didn't know if it was physically possible to strangle a magic sword, but I didn't want to see Sam try."
― The Ship of the Dead
"Maybe I should have resented him, but I didn't. After losing my mother, I didn't have patience for grudges. My years on the street had taught me that it was pointless to whine and moan about what you could've had - what you deserved, what was fair. I was just happy to have this moment."
― The Sword of Summer
― The Sword of Summer
"I held out the rune for Hearthstone. 'I know what it feels like to be an empty cup, to have everything taken away from you. But you're not alone. However much magic you need to use, it's okay. We've got you. We're your family.'
Hearth's eyes rimmed with green water. He signed to us, and this time I think he actually meant "
― The Sword of Summer
"Not wanting to be stuck on the boat with lobster dwarf and his jerky-eating brother, I swung my legs overboard. The waist-deep water was so cold I imagined I would be singing soprano for the rest of the week."
― Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard
― Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard
"Sometimes, you have to flaunt the weird, my friend.
-Alex Fierro"
― The Ship of the Dead
"Also what you said about having a good team- sometimes being the son of the sea god hasn't been enough to save me, even underwater. One time, my friend Jason and I got pulled to the bottom of the Mediterranean by this sea goddess, Kymopoleia? Jason saved my butt by offering to make trading cards and action figures of her."
― The Ship of the Dead
― The Ship of the Dead
Welcome back. Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account.
Source: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/magnus-chase
0 Response to "Best Funny Quotes From Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard"
ارسال یک نظر